Below The Surface - Why?

I don’t know how to start this, so I’m just going to write...

I’ve moved through life like a checklist. School. Work. Perform. Push. Achieve. Smile. Survive.
People see someone smart, put-together, successful. I see someone who’s been sprinting uphill her whole life just so no one notices she’s bleeding.

I never had the luxury to stop and ask, “Am I okay?”
Because the answer might’ve been no, and I didn’t have time for no.
So I kept going. I still do. Sometimes I wonder if I ever learned how to just… be.

That’s why I’m writing now, not because I have something figured out, but because I want to stop abandoning the parts of me I didn’t know how to carry.

This blog isn’t for followers. It’s not for healing perfectly. It’s not even for clarity.

It’s for the part of me that finally said:
“I want to be the creator of my own life. Even if I have no idea what that looks like yet.”

I’m not polished.
I don’t have the perfect language yet.
But I’m in love with the journey, and that counts for something.

So this is where it begins.
Below the surface.
Where the truth lives.
Where I finally meet myself.

—
S. Noor